It's that time of year again where giant corporations absolutely heap money into movie-quality adverts for items undeserving of anywhere near their ludicrous budget.
"But Christmas was over a month ago," I hear you say. No, silly, I'm talking about the Super Bowl. You know, that game they play over in the States with the funny-shaped ball?
Anyway, apparently it's quite the big deal and the advertising space just so happens to be the most expensive in the world, reportedly costing around $6.5 million for a 30 second slot this year.
To put that into perspective, the most expensive advertising spot in the UK and Ireland last year was during the Euros Semi Finals between England and Denmark on ITV. That was reportedly £900,000 or just over $1.25 million.
Granted, there are a lot more people in the USA but that's still a lot of money to be spending on an ad for a firelighter. That being said, let's have a look at some of the weird an wonderful ads lined up for the game on Sunday 13.
Bic Feat. Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart
Ah yes, Bic lighters, Snoop Dogg and celebrity chef Martha Stewart, together at last. Name a better trio, we'll wait. Seriously though, I'm not too sure why these people are in this ad. Young people love Snoop Dogg right? And old people like Martha Stewart? Well Bic have their entire audience base covered. I think they've cracked this advertising thing.
AT & T Feat. Zac Efron
Nothing says fast fibre optic broadband like Zac Efron playing a VR fishing game with a fisherman who is also Zac Efron. After watching this ad a couple of times now I still really just don't know what to think of it. I just wish I were a fly on the wall when the ad executives thought up this idea. I just want to understand.
As far as Zac Efron's performance, let's just say it's definitely better than 'Dirty Grandpa'.
Planters Peanuts feat. Ken Jeong & Joel McHael
Now this, this is Super Bowl advertising 101. Dull product? Check. Two wacky celebs? Check. An argument about how the product is consumed that literally nobody has ever had? You better believe that box is checked.
In all honestly I've had a lot of friendships destroyed over how we consume mixed peanuts. I'd rather not talk about it, actually.
Hyundai feat. Jason Bateman
Ok Jason, you got me. I can't really make fun of this one because it's actually pretty good. Bateman is taking a break from starring in the final season of 'Ozark' to travel through time to Nissan's most evolved car yet, which actually looks like it came from the future, to be quite honest.
Plus it's electric as well? I can't even get annoyed at the product he's pushing. I wonder how much it co- Agh, the advertising, it's working!
Nissan feat. Eugene Levy, Brie Larson, Dave Bautista, Catherine O'Hara & Danai Gurira
It looks like the car companies are hitting the nail on the head here. Speaking of heads, look at that impeccable head of hair on Eugene Levy.
Advertising their new range, Nissan are going big on the action and big on the names too. We're all over the idea for Levy as the newest action star. Once you add those locks to those eyebrows, he becomes unstoppable. Also, Catherine O'Hara features with probably the easiest pay day she'll ever have in a very short 'Schitt's Creek' reunion. Let's be honest, she absolutely deserves it.
Lay's feat Seth Rogen & Paul Rudd
We've definitely turned a corner here. I've got to hand it to Lay's, this is how it should be done. They got the self-awareness down, they've used two universally liked actors. Also, unlike the Zac Efron ad, they've made weird work quite well. Bravo, American Walkers. Gary Lineker could never.
My only gripe with this ad is how fake the bag of crisps looks. There's like five crisps propped up on cardboard in that bag, Seth. I'm not falling for it.
Squarespace feat Zendaya & Andre 3000
This is like a hipster's paradise of an ad. It's directed by Edgar Wright, stars Zendaya and Outkast's Andre 3000. It's also an ad for Squarespace, that product that sponsors every podcast you've ever listened to.
The ad is short and sweet, memorable and well choreographed. All that's missing is a Nick Frost cameo. I'm sure he's there somewhere in the background.
Amazon feat Scarlett Johansson & Colin Jost
"Hey Jeff, wouldn't it be hilarious if we made an ad about how universally loved mega-brand Amazon could read your thoughts and then push that information into actionable purchases?"
I know it's meant to be funny and all, but all I can think about is that '2001: A Space Odyssey' parody episode of the Simpsons where Pierce Brosnan's disembodied voice knew the family's favourite food by "analysing their leavings".
Busch Light feat Kenny G
There's really not much to add to this one. It's an ad for Busch Light Beer with Kenny G playing saxophone, superimposed over a mountain skyline. We'll let Kenny play this one out.