We should really be glued to Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe Review of 2009 over on BBC4 at 10.30pm, but if you're more in the mood for silliness instead of embittered wit, here's 'a special Christmas episode' in which Alan is joined on the sofa by the showbiz legend (she's a presenter AND singer, wouldn't you know) Cilla Black; his old partner from The Sunday Night Project Justin Lee Collins and, making his second appearance on the Chatty Man sofa, Little Britain star David Walliams. There's plenty of Christmas surprises and a performance from Britain's favourite new Pussycat Doll tribute act The Saturdays. This is a grand precursor for tonight's main event - the new series of The Big Bang Theory, which opens with a double bill at 11.30pm and 11.55pm. Sheldon goes back to Texas when he discovers his friends tampered with the Arctic expedition data after growing tired of his quest for a breakthrough. COME BACK SHELDON?! You're two thirds the reason we watch this.