That Cheryl Cole's 30-year-old brother is a high achiever. He's been charged "this morning with a gun and machete robbery on a post office. Andrew Tweedy, 30, was arrested when cops smashed their way into his home on Tuesday, 24 hours after the terrifying raid. His girlfriend Emma Stanners, 29 - the mother of their baby son - was also arrested last night and charged with money laundering... In January, Andrew was spared jail after being caught driving while three times the drink limit. Tweedy, who has more than 80 previous convictions, was arrested by cops suspicious after seeing him doing just 10mph"... That Chris Evans has squandered £12million on a Ferrari 250 GTO: "Chris Evans gave himself a present for pulling in a million more Radio 2 listeners - the most expensive car in Britain. The Beeb DJ celebrated getting a breakfast show audience of 9.5million by paying £12million for the vintage Ferrari 250 GTO. His latest motor cost £6,000 when new in 1963".... Motor mouth Max Girardo said: "The exclusivity of Ferrari's 250 GTO cannot be overstated. We are pleased to have been able to unite this exceptional car with a new and immensely enthusiastic owner"... A similar car was recently sold in the states to another over-privileged w*nker for $26million... That, as it turns out Rachel Uchitel was in fact the woman David Boreanez had an affair with: "He treated her as his girlfriend and also took her out in public. He called her between takes when he was taping his television show and put her on the telephone with his friends and his son. Their relationship ended because Ms. Uchitel decided to break it off. She felt that he had not been completely truthful with her and she no longer trusted him"... It's a sad day when you realise you can't trust the married man you're having an affair with, especially after he's willing to confuse his child for you... That "glamour model" Laura Jones said of Jack Tweed: "He's 22 and in his prime and wants to go out and shag every girl. He can switch completely from this nice guy to an a**ehole, a bit nasty. The way he talks for example, he called me a d**k. Definitely Jekyll and Hyde. You just don't know whether this is what it's always like with him or if he's actually nice. Some of the texts were quite explicit, telling me the things he wanted to do to me. It was like: 'You're so sexy, I want to get you on your own'. He's got no respect for women"... Says the woman who empowers fellow female's minds by getting her glands out for a living... That, you might want to grab a pen, Jessica Simpson "is to reveal her summer reading list on Amazon.com... Included in Simpson's list are The Power of Now by Eckhardt Tolle, How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman and Desmond Tutu's Made For Goodness. The list also contains the complete works of Paulo Coehlo, of whom the star is said to be a fan"... That Naomi Watts is to depict Marilyn Monroe in the film Blonde... That Heidi Montag Tweeted the following after calling the police on her mother: "My mum just showed up to the house unannounced... and after what she did to me on national TV (quite rightly take the piss out her daughter's irresponsible plastic surgery on a recent episode of The Hills), I have no desire to see her... Her showing up is completely out of line and psychotic. I'm getting a restraining order against her"... That Spencer then extracted his puppeteering hand from Heidi's nethers, and was last seen, heavily bearded, guarding the front door of his house armed with binoculars and "holding a big-ass piece of crystal"... That, of his then 16-year-old daughter "grinding" up against a middle aged gay man, Billy Ray Cyrus said she was "just having fun. It's what people her age too"... Quick, inform Disney... That Andy Cowles and a recently hospitalised Twink will be on tonight's Late Late Show, while Craig Doyle's going a bit more upmarket this week (last week's reanimating of the dead fish made for painful Saturday night viewing) by welcoming Dermot O'Leary on to his couch... Here's the fashion from the second day at Cannes (with yet more arse crack... and boobs, thanks to the charming cast from Zombie Women of Satan)... Paris was on hand with her repertoire of poses... That Gaga could just meld a gimp mask to her face and be done with it...

MORE RUMOURS...  PHOTOS FROM CANNES, DAY ONE...