With just five weeks to go 'til Christmas, it's inevitable that every radio station, shopping centre and annoying co-worker in the land will be flooding your brain with festive songs over the coming weeks.

Christmas songs usually fall into one of two categories: the do-gooder charity tune (Do They Know It’s Christmas?, etc.) and the ridiculous novelty track.

With today's news that X Factor reject Wagner is shooting for the top of the charts with his new single, we thought we'd have a look at the Christmas Number Ones over the years that have fallen on the sillier end of the scale.

Mr. Blobby – Mr. Blobby (UK number one, 1993)

A classic (if you happened to be eight years old when it was released, that is). BLOBBY BLOBBY BLOBBY! *creases up *


Bob the Builder – Can We Fix It? (UK number one, 2000)

This wasn't even funny, just stupid. It's not like Bob the Builder was even the sort of cartoon that adults can surreptitiously watch and enjoy, like Spongebob Squarepants. No Blobby points for you, Bob.


 St. Winifred's School Choir – There's No One Quite Like Grandma (1980)

Yeah yeah, aren't they all so sweet with their little gap-toothed angelic smiles and pigtails and little pink costumes. No, they're not. They're bloody annoying and they sound like chipmunks on speed. BAH HUMBUG.

Zig and Zag – The Christmas Number One (1990)

Only in Ireland could a song called 'The Christmas Number One' get to number one at Christmas. We are nothing if not a susceptible nation. Nonetheless, as silly as this song is, the lyrics "Christmas is coming and Dustin's getting fat / Zuppy's still blue and Zag is still a twat" do make us laugh. We still haven't forgiven Zig and Zag for defecting to Channel 4, though. Never forget.


Eminem – Stan (Irish number one, 2000)

 Because nothing screams 'Christmas!' like a rap song about an obsessive fan kidnapping his pregnant girlfriend, putting her in the boot of his car, getting drunk and driving them both off a bridge. Many happy returns!