This week marks the twentieth anniversary of the comedy institution that is Father Ted. Yep, it's been two whole decades since we first saw the shenanigans of Father Ted, Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle unfold on screen, but even now, it still has us cracking up just as much as it did the first time round.

There are very few moments in life that don't call for a Father Ted quote in some shape or form, it's pretty much become apart of our daily language. And we are totally down with that sort of thing.

So below is our definitive list of all the very best lines that were ever uttered by a Father Ted character. We are not without flaws though so please let us know if we're missing out on your favourite Ted zinger. We probably won't add it in though - we've had our fun, and that's all that matters.

1. "That money was just resting in my account."

2. "I love my brick."

3. "That's mad, Ted."

4. "Shoddy workmanship, that's what it is."

5. "Feic, arse, drink, girls."

6. "Which one do you prefer, Oasis or Blur?"

7. "You're going on my list, Tony." (Along with anything Fr Noel Furlong (Graham Norton) said ever.)

8. "Looks like rain, Ted."

 9. "Doesn't Mary have a lovely bottom? (Of course, they ALL have lovely bottoms.)"

10.  "Go on, go on, go on, go on... (etc etc)"


11. "Careful now/Down with that sort of thing."

12. "You were wearing your blue jumper."

13. "These are small, but the ones out there are far away."

 14. "Is there anything to be said for another mass?"

15. "Who would he be like? Hitler or one of those mad fellas?"
"Oh, worse than Hitler. You wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at 3 o'clock in the morning."

16. "Cowboys ted, a bunch of cowboys."

 17.  "I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there."


 18. "That would be a ecumenical matter."

19. "I've had my fun and that's all that matters."

20. "I love cake." (or I have no willy... or again, everything uttered by Eoin McLove).

21. "F*cking hell."

 22. "Spider-Baby- It's got the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby."

23. "It's Ireland's largest lingerie section' I understand."

24. "We're all going to heaven lads, wahey!!"


Honourable Mention

And finally... we had to throw an honourable mention to My Lovely Horse. Not exactly a quote, but once you get this song in your head, it never leaves.

See also...

The 15 quotes from Friends you still say