This is pretty much like saying the Spice Girls are coming back but we're only getting Scary Spice and a dog jumping through a hoop.
After the news that Mary Berry is following suit with Mel and Sue and will be ending her run on The Great British Bake Off once it wraps up its tenure on the BBC, Channel 4 have confirmed today that Paul Hollywood will be staying put in his role as judge on the show for the next three years.
— Channel 4 Press (@C4Press) September 22, 2016
Hollywood said via Channel 4's press office: "Since I was a kid, baking has been part of my life. The seven series inside the tent have created some great memories. Best of all, I have felt so pleased to experience other people getting the baking bug, just as I did when my dad helped me make my first loaf.
"The Great British Bake Off has brought baking to the nation and we’ve seen people from all walks of life and backgrounds, experience the highs and lows of competition, and more importantly helping each other. It’s been a huge part of my life in the past few years and I just couldn’t turn my back on all that – the bakers themselves, the bakes, the team that makes it, and of course the tent, the bunting, and who could forget… the squirrels.
"So I am delighted that I will be continuing as a judge when Bake Off moves to Channel 4. I want to thank the BBC and Mel and Sue for making my time in the tent great fun and really rewarding."
He also then tweeted the following, seeing as he forgot to mention HRH Mary Berry in his statement.
I'm staying in the tent with the bakers where I belong. I want to thank Mary. I'll miss her but she has made the right decision for her.
— Paul Hollywood (@PaulHollywood) September 22, 2016
It's all a bit too little, too late for our tastes.
Charlie Brooker's tweet has summed it up perfectly, really.
The Great British Shitshow
— Charlie Brooker (@charltonbrooker) September 22, 2016