Didn't you know? Simon Cowell wants to dominate the world of cookery talent shows too, on his personal channel ITV.
Starting next month, Food Glorious Food will see former Maaaaawsterchef judge Loyd Grossman host Cowell's new endeavour, presumably at a lunchtime slot on a Sunday, because that's the only time Loyd likes presenting cookery shows.
He famously quit Masterchef after a decade when the show was moved from a Sunday to a Tuesday night on BBC2. Speaking of the schedule change, he said at the time: "The programme is a dumb thing now and I don’t want to be involved".
Loyd then went on to describe current hosts Gregg Wallace and John Torode as thugs, saying the new show "is like Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels." An obvious comparison what with Gregg insisting on saying "cooking doesn't get any 'arder' than this" at any given opportunity.
Despite Grossman's obviously seeewper refined tastes, he doesn’t seem to mind being ordered to judge stuff like pasties. Speaking of his new venture, Cowell said: "I like home food, I love it. My mum’s roast potatoes. Shepherd’s pie. Cornish pasties. I want stuff like that on the show."
Of course Cowell is going to have a band of judges that are going to disagree ad nauseam over pretty much everything. He could have Louis Walsh banging on about spuds while Sharon Osbourne pours boiling minestrone soup all over him.
Then perhaps both of them could judge Loyd's performance with his punk band The New Forbidden. You thought we'd attached the wrong image, didn't you. Indeed that is Loyd Grossman with the guitar on the left there, without his glasses, a bottle of tomaaawto sauce or a keyhole in sight.