You know all those asteroids that keep hurtling past Earth every few months? You'd think, just once, we'd all get lucky and one of them would hit.
Alas, we are doomed to toil in this hellscape where reality television stars are treated as actual human beings, with some of them even making it all the way to high political office. Others, meanwhile, simply do the personal appearances circuit until their show is revived after a sufficient time has passed to allow nostalgia to do its thing.
So it goes that human civilisation is being forced to witness the revival of Jersey Shore on MTV. THR reports that Sooki, Mike 'The Situation, Pauly D, JWowww, Deena, Ronnie and Beelzebub (we made that one up) will all return for Jersey Shore Family Vacation, which will debut at some time in 2018 and hopefully after we've all been annihilated by nuclear holocaust or one of those stray asteroids.
We get the world we deserve, people. We deserve this.