Last weekend was good, wasn't it?
We were all feeling the national pride, we'd made history by voting in marriage equality and being the first country in the world to do so by popular vote. Good times.
Now, however, we are back in the doldrums of utter shame. Why? Because of Big Brother, of course.
Reality TV show / national embarrassment Tallafornia ran for a couple of seasons on TV3 and spawned various "celebrities" who turn up at crap nightclubs across the land. Science, unfortunately, will not allow us to make those inverted commas bigger. Trust us - we use the term celebrities very, VERY loosely.
Anyway, when Tallafornia was rightfully cancelled, the various members attempted to put together another show. It was equally awful.
Much like a bad case of gonorrhea, they keep coming back.
— Big Brother UK (@bbuk) May 29, 2015
If you watched / were forced to watch Tallafornia, you may recall Marc O'Neill. He once posted his penis on Twitter. No, really.
Well, he's entered the Big Brother house and it hasn't gone down well with fellow Irish contestant Jade Martina Lynch.
As Jade commented upon his arrival, "I know him, he's an asshole."
It appears, however, that there's no love lost between them as Marc himself commented before entering the house, "I've built up a tolerance to hate her already."
Look, the only way they can make this show interesting to us is if they drop a load of baseball bats into the middle of the set and get everyone to fight to the death.
Otherwise, we're at nothing here.