Oh. Who saw this coming. A fix scandal on the very first live show. This almost never happens every year. Next week, they're going to have Gary Barlow and Louis Walsh fight to the death in a vat full of x contestants' dreams. Dermot could referee, Rylan could cheer lead, Tulisa could do summink shtreet while looking awkward, while Nicole intermittently does the splits. That I might watch.

Anyway, X Factor big wig Richard Holloway, AKA the man seen mumbling into Louis Walsh's ear before he shirked his judicial responsibilities as a judge on Sunday's live show ("I couldn't make up my mind. So, finally, I decided that the fairest thing to do was to go to the public vote") has denied he instructed Louis to send the vote to DEADLOCK *shields eyes*. He's also said rumours that he was overheard by audience members instructing Walsh to that effect was a load of hooey. And doesn't he look like a fellah you could trust.

Speaking with The Sun, the 63-year-old (that being Richard, not Louis) said: "'We never tell the judges what to do.' He said he only told Walsh he was voting last and it would be 'impossible' to overhear his conversation… 'On Sunday I was telling Louis the order the judges would vote in. We don't tell judges how to vote'."

And let's say you did tell judges how to vote, you'd do it through the more subtle means of an earpiece, am I right? But, then again, you wouldn't get nearly as many column inches…

For example, more than 26,000 souls voted in a poll hosted by The Sun Online, which asked if Louis Walsh was told by show bosses to save Rylan Clark from the boot. 95% of voters said yes.

Lads, when will you learn. The X Factor is a TV show first, and a talent show second. Just watch it for the pretty lights and Rylan's gibberings, he's bound to be in it for at least another month.

> X Factor Live Shows: Week one... Dave O'Shaughnessy endured it so you didn't have to.