is "utterly demonic with excitement" at the prospect of presenting the "absurd" show for the fourth time. And wouldn't you be when the viewing figures have been hovering around the 1,300,000 mark, making the Late Late Toy Show the most ritualistically watched Irish TV show of the year.

This year, the theme is Shrek (they have his swamp toilet on set and everything) and we have been promised a break from Ryan's more subtle "Christmas drinking jumper" for something really "vile."

It better have LED lights. And its own show machine. And a Santa on a sleigh doing a circuit around his stomach. Yes, my lofty expectations do have me in a constant state of disappointment, but one can dream... On the upside, Union J fans, they're due to perform. Eeeeeeeeek.

The Late Late Toy Show airs tonight on RTE1 from 9.35pm. I don't know how the childers aren't hallucinating with the tiredness too *ahemspossibleprerecord*