In an effort to keep things 'fresh', Big Brother makers have installed a new theme; Secrets and Lies. Corkman Michael Dylan has joined the cast on the pretense of being a regular postman. The professional actor has been hired by the Channel 5 reality TV creators with the aim of fooling the other contestants and stirring up some drama.

In the true soap opera style of deliverance that will serve him well when he, at best, secures a part in Hollyoaks or some other shock tactic show following Big Brother, Dylan revealed his true identity to the viewers, saying 'I've been recruited by Big Brother to work for you.You control me. You want to know what the secret is? You're looking at it.'

There's sure to be someone out there who actually cares, so good man Michael. If they were really going to push his acting skills though, shouldn't they have made him something a little more alien to the average person than a postman? How about a Danish Lego sculptor? Let's see him pull that off for three months. Get creative Channel 5, jeesh.