This we weren't expecting. Or were we. During his time in the jungle he did appear to be a man on the edge, mainlining more cigarettes than Eric the mumbling darts player. Then there was the whole log tossing incident involving David Haye, which - when compared to the amount of times Hugo has shed tears - was really incidental. When probed on the matter, an ITV spokesperson said: "Brian Conley has left the jungle due to medical reasons" and refused to comment further.

Last night's show was just strange. Firstly Dec just casually threw into his opening gambit that Conley had left the jungle due to medical reasons, then no more was said of it. Obviously it had caused a bi of a kerfuffle in the editing suite, as we were then treated to 'highlights' of Helen Flanagan's live trial. Really it was the entire trial made longer thanks to cutaways back to Ant and Dec live in the jungle, intermingled with a lot of comment from Ashley the Pussycat Doll.

The inordinate amount of Ashley time continued with her teaching Rosemary the Cook and Colin who used to be Doctor Who the dance routine to Dont'cha, which seemed to last forever. Janine off EastEnders got the grand total of 1 minute's screentime in which she uttered approximately two syllables. Then, the strangest thing of all happened, Helen Flanagan was not chosen by the public to do one of the final Bushtucker Trails... Hugo was chosen instead 'cause he's a muppet of the highest order that the public can't relate to as - according to Nadine the Tory MP - he's part of the 'two percent'.

Apparently the remaining 98% would like to see Mr Chelsea scramble around looking for stars in a Savage Sewer, which - in some parts of Ireland - would make it the best sewer going, probably lined with gold leaf and mood lighting.

You'll have to wait 'til tomorrow night for that sight, however, as the footie's on tonight.