Really, they should just call it the 'Daahn Saaaaf Awards', because there's nary a sign of a Coronation Street or Emmerdale cast member among the guests. We have Hollyoakers (I know it's meant to be set near Liverpool, but it's not got the same earthiness) and EastEnders a plenty, and the odd Neighbour, but nobody from Manchester or Yorkshire even turned up to the event.

Corrie won three awards, largely thanks to Michelle Keegan's assets, while Soaps Unsung Hero, Emmerdale, got nowt. EastEnders essentially swept the board, which is ridiculous given their current eye-clawingly irritating 'Who's Kat been banging this time, eh?' storyline.

Ordinarily we'd also provide commentary on what everyone had adorned themselves with, but the regalia was as unimaginative as the winners list. Salmon pink blazer, anyone?

Best Actor
Emmett J Scanlan (Brendan Brady, Hollyoaks)

Best Actress
Gillian Wright (Jean Slater, EastEnders)

Best Young Actor

Alex Bain (Simon Barlow, Coronation Street)

Best Newcomer
Hetti Bywater (Lucy Beale, EastEnders)

Funniest Male
Ricky Norwood (Arthur ‘Fat Boy’ Chubb, EastEnders)

Funniest Female
Tameka Empson (Kim Fox, EastEnders)

Best Bad Boy
Emmett J Scanlan (Brendan Brady, Hollyoaks)

Best Bitch
Charlie Brooks (Janine Butcher, EastEnders)

Sexiest Male
David Witts (Joey Branning, EastEnders)

Sexiest Female
Michelle Keegan (Tina McIntyre, Coronation Street)

Best Daytime Soap

Best Daytime Star
Ryan Moloney (Jarrod ‘Toadie’ Rebecchi, Neighbours)

Best-Dressed Soap Star sponsored by
Michelle Keegan (Tina McIntyre, Coronation Street)

Best Drama
Waterloo Road

Best Soap