I'm considering a Winehouse boycott. Someone needs to do something (no matter how meagre) since YouTube footage of her, madourvit playing with baby mice on the floor of Pete Doherty's flat, was the top showbiz story in The Sun online on Saturday. There she was, looking like some kind've crazed cave lady, stroking these tiny pellets of flesh while bleating on about "Blakey" while Doherty (who went to the touble of posting the footage himself) mumbled gibberish in a French accent... That's showbiz *jazz hands*. I bet most of you, who haven't already seen the footage, will be making their way to YouTube sharpish shortly after reading this. What is WRONG with us?!

As has become customary at this stage, one of Amy's parents has come forth to say something or other about the state of their daughter. Last time, Mitch informed the world he was planning on having her committed. Now her mum Janis has thrown her two cents in - not about her little girl continuing to hit the drugs big style, but to say the following on the anniversary (hence the flowers) of Amy's year-long marriage: "He's been in prison for almost as long as they've been together. It's a joke. But then so was the wedding, really. I wasn't upset by it because it meant nothing; nothing whatsoever... I know Mitch, Amy's father, was upset (but) I think they were in Miami and got caught up in the moment, and that was it. It was more like a picnic in the park than a wedding." Here Janis, d'you want to hear a better joke? Apparently your daughter and her husband are planning to renew their vows once he gets out of the clink. A source told the Sunday Mirror: "Amy and Blake are more determined than ever to show the world they are together. As soon as he is out they will be renewing their wedding vows - they want to put two fingers up to those who want them apart." And here comes the all-important punch line: "They want another wedding, a family and are even planning to set up a business together." A family. So funny it hurts.