It was 'totes emosh' this weekend as the first of the live X Factor shows got underway. Not really though, I just wanted to say 'totes emosh'. It's hard to believe it's been one whole year since Dermy bounded on stage in his a-bit-on-the-tight-side suit, spun around in a circle while telling us that whatever crazy antics we had gotten up to theretofore, this is where our Saturday night officially began.

Introducing Barlow (who I think deserved the best dressed judge award) and co as though they are a people to be fearsome of (yes Tulisa, when you pull that cringey, winky salute revealing your naff tattoo, we know you mean business) our favourite host warned us of the big shock in store, which of course wasn't shocking at all as it's been splashed across the red tops for the last seven days. Yes, in the creator's attempt to keep X Factor as interesting as possible whilst having scant regard for the actual human beings involved, it was decided that for this first week, each judge would choose one of their own acts to send home. Like asking a mother to feed on her young, the judges appeared to find this task a genuine difficulty. But then, learning that the judges knew this would happen as far back as Judges Houses you can't help but wonder, did they each choose a slightly weaker act knowing they'd be able to send them packing? Hmmm.

So who takes the biscuit in the style stakes for week one, Tulisa or hot momma sassypants Kelly? I vote Kelly as whatever pretty dress Tulisa might wear (although her Sunday dress was tack-tastic), that blonde disaster on top of her head reminds me of a dry shampoo experience gone wrong. And so began what felt like the longest X Factor show in history - performing songs that fell under the theme of UK versus the US, (so basically that covers everything) there was a helluva lot of 'puttin' it DOWN' as Kelly said about 47 times, and only one or two performances that made me cringe.

To read Caroline's Full Review head on over to our dedicated X Factor page.