As Friday Night with Jonathan Ross is recorded on a Wednesday, the press is now awash with snippets of his first words. Cobbled together, we can expect to hear something along the lines of this tumbling from his dewy lips:
"So. Where were we?" Nice. He then made a timely reference to 'Bushisms' quoting one of the ex-president's finest: "I believe human beings and fish can co-exist peacefully." Ross added: "What sort of idiot would say stuff like that knowing it was going to be broadcast? (cue laughter). On that subject, there can't be many viewers who aren't aware this show hasn't been on recently and the reason for its absence. I'm going to take this opportunity to apologise for what I said on the radio because being on the BBC and allowed this level of freedom to communicate with people is a great privilege. It's something I've always enjoyed and I value enormously. In future, I do intend to be more aware of the responsibility that comes with such a gift. But as the kids say, it was my bad, so I do apologise for any hurt or distress it has caused."
Does anyone else take offense to Ross's use of "my bad"? He has a heaving team of scriptwriters; surely they could've whipped up something more credible? Despite his questionable level of maturity, he's never going to be a 15-year-old Californian.
That minor gripe aside, I'm strangely ecstatic that Jonathan is back to fill the gaping void in Friday night's bleak schedule. I'll leave any residual sentiments to Andrew Sachs himself:
"I will be watching the show out of curiosity to see what is what. A lot of people like this show but I don't and I'm not alone. His show is embarrassing. It's not an interview show, it's the Jonathan Ross show."