We are not referring to Daithi O'Sé. I repeat, we are not referring to the O'Sé.

A wild beast evaded RTE security last evening just minutes before the 9.30pm weather bulletin. The weather lady, a well-known shy and retiring type, was ravished by the beast but bravely continued with the broadcast. Her dress showed obvious signs of the claw marks (unfortunately the picture does not convey the sheer severity of the gashes on display, but we assure you they were plentiful in number) and the hairy beast was last seen sloping down the Merrion Road. A hooded RTE source said the likelihood is it will strike again.