They live in plush houses, jet-set across the world countless times and for the most part have dream jobs most of us would pay to do. Yet why is it even with all these massive benefits some celebrities still manage to be a massive pain in the arse by imposing upon us, the plebs, a veneer of seriousness so glacially shiny we are drawn in with a mix of agitation and awe. It's all well and good if you're persona matches the magnitude of seriousness on display. Just look at DeNiro's ability to give monosyllabic interviews once every decade because, hey, he is a serious method actor credited as one of the best actors of all time. Acceptable? Yes. If you are a teen heartthrob with questionable acting credits other than looking hot and broody? Well that's when acceptability levels plummet. Here's a quick vent for all those sad sack cases who don't know when to stop looking so damn pensive, or recognise the acceptable limit for preaching their philosophies. Gwyneth Paltrow, take note, this is why you topped the list for most hated celebrities in Hollywood.
OK so the obvious number one to start with is Ms Coldplay herself, Gwyneth the most hated celeb. This undesirable chart-topping act caused a media frenzy. Who would have thought poor Paltrow would be number one? Well, the public did for starters. She may be a reasonably talented actress with beauty on her side but Paltrow's holier than thou attitude has earned her the spot, at least for this one year. The public has spoken and the decree is: that smirky boastful so-and-so needs to be taken down. Zing Paltrow! Statements such as 'I would rather die than let my kid eat a cup-a-soup' and 'When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat' is what sets off mass eye-rolling and 'I wanna vom' expressions Gwen, so keep your trap shut unless it's about a movie. Naming your child Apple was enough of an insight into your off-kilter, tasteless mindset. Don't even get us started on her exercise mania.
Hotly in pursuit of Paltrow's unfathomable idiocy when it comes to 'serious discussion' is...you guessed it, non other than Kanye West the rant machine (OK we may now be ranting but this is a necessary purge). There are times when Kanye's big mouth have done him many a favour. It is the main ingredient needed for a successful rapper after all. Besides his career, his live Hurricane Katrina rant was questionably good. Lately however, his spewing speeches have become a little nonsensical and enraged. Take for instance his recent 'I'm not a celebrity' marathon of a rant. There's also the snigger-inducing head-meets-pole incident. Oh Kanye, it's time to chill. Once you've gotten a diamond grill, nobody takes you that seriously no matter how hard you try.
It would be silly to do this list and not include Kristen Stewart; the actress who has practically trademarked her moody red carpet pout. That constant face of gloom could be looked over if she was such a serious actress one could only assume her mind was wandering some mystic planes of contemplation but she is the star of a blockbuster teen franchise and goes out with Robert freakin' Pattinson. Cheer up love.
Robert Pattinson (see above). You too need to look at your life and perk up tad, things could be a lot worse. You could be doing amateur drama in London and planning your gap year. Things have worked out well so thank your agent and your luck.
Another actress is a must-include on this list for her recent behaviour that caught everyone's eye. When Reese Witherspoon and her husband were arrested for a DUI her torrent of abuse towards the police became hot gossip. The old 'don't you know who I am?' line was whipped out of the big-headed actor closet once more and tried on for size by Witherspoon much to everyone's surprise. She has come across as media-cold in the past (watch any of her interviews in the last few years) but this was an unforeseen step up. That one line and an accompanying cheeky mugshot; self-involved done with aplomb.
If these vain stars had to be graded, at least Witherspoon has proved her acting chops. The next on the list- Megan Fox- cannot claim the same unless running without a bra counts as incredible acting nowadays. Known as a nightmare to work with, the young starlet constantly tells the media she wants to change her image so she is taken seriously' as an actress. Her latest roles include The Dictator (playing herself) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Good luck with that Fox.
Demi Moore, where do we begin? She is no new addition to the stage of conceited stars. In nearly every movie she got her kit off and apparently for every single one of them it was for 'art'. We saw Striptease Demi, you can't fool us.
Nicolas Cage may seem an odd choice for this list but he is a definite addition. He may be a worthy actor with a long career but does the man have a lazy eye or a serious case of staring problems? That 'looking off into the distance' thing is his shtick at this stage, and must've been practiced in the mirror for many a year. How about not eyeballing the camera like one of your disturbed characters for a change?
Leaving actors and rappers aside, there are a few hotspots left for singers who deserve a mention. The real difficulty is whittling it down, but one must is a certain someone named Lily Allen. At the beginning her broody attitude matched her 'street' persona, fair enough. What makes he so damn kick-able is how long this teen angst attitude has lasted, when it really should've been left aside with the trainers and frocks days. One minute she is complaining that fame is too difficult, the next she is hurling herself back in the limelight. She even made a documentary about wanting to be left alone as a normal member of Joe Public....that makes sense Lily. Do the words 'utter twat' even suffice?
Last but most definitely not least is our own born and bred Bono. Yes, he is an extremely well accomplished musician with many a worthy cause but words that rhyme with mickhead start to circulate when you fail to pay tax at home and preach about charity to others less fortunate (and everyone is less fortunate than Bono). Paying to have a fist-class seat for your lucky hat doesn't illustrate to the world how great your perspective is there Bono, and undoes so much of your good work by making you look like a glory hog even more than your Napolean complex high heel boots and asshole sunglasses.
( Honorary mention to Sting for all the drivel he has given the world over the years, yoga included).