It wasn't the bunchy leather shorts, teamed with a sweet wrapper and Witchy Poo boots, that the press honed in on when they first saw these snaps of Gwynnie leaving a recent screening of Two Lovers (AKA the romcom which propelled Joaquin Phoenix towards his abandonment of acting and the infiltration of hip hop) - it was the sliver of red thread she had near obscured by some oversized bangle.

According to sources, the red string is *gasps* Madonna related: "The superstar pals have spent more and more time together in recent months, as the Material Girl moves on from her split from husband Guy Ritchie. Their partying antics have even raised question marks about Paltrow's marriage to Coldplay rocker Chris Martin."

I'm surprised Madonna's found the time to have Gwyneth swing out of her considering she's been very busy acquainting model Jesus Luz with the almighty crotch - with a view to converting him to Kabbalah: "Jesus, who was a staunch Catholic in belief, has acquiesced to Madonna's preachings of the Jewish sectarian faith". 

Speaking of his staunch Catholicism/Madonna, Luz recently posted this on one of his social networking profiles: "It is not important what the others think about us. The most important is what and whom [sic] we are. I have a clear conscience even if I am con- demned. We cannot forget that Jesus was condemned."

I'd rather sew up my own ears than be privy to their pillow talk.