Piles? Probably stretch marks. And possibly varacose veins. And mood swings. And some riotous hilarity along the way if you're appearing in a fictionalised account of pregnancy featuring Cameron Diaz, Elizabeth Banks, Brooklyn Decker, and several other pretty blond embodiments of the Hollywood "norm". Did we mention Jennifer Lopez is in it as well? Sadly she wasn't at last night's premiere.
All that aside, it's refreshing to hear a bit of stark honesty from a mother-to-be (via surrogacy). One of the film's stars, Banks, has admitted she was "horrifed" at the prospect of impending motherhood: "The Thursday before my son was born, I was just driving to coffee with my husband and I literally burst into tears. I was horrified that this was the last Thursday of my life before I was going to be responsible for another human being for the rest of my life."
The 38-year-old also took the time to comment on the prosthetic breasts she gets to wear in the film: "Mine had giant areolas like horrifyingly large salami slices. I thought, 'That's the size of my face!'"
For more Junket Japes, here's one of the film's other stars, Matthew Morrison, reminiscing about delivering babies while he was in high school.