At last, the X Factor has reached its final phase of initial auditions. So that's it now folks, maybe it'll be Lascel Woods from last week who'll reign supreme, or Johnny Robinson from week two? It could even be 31 year old (cough) Michelle Barrett (who models underwear when she's not looking after her brood of four) from last night. Either way, we've now officially met the person (or group) who'll battle it out against some barrage of Syco-hating cyber-geeks who've nothing better to do with their time than vote three minutes of radio silence into Christmas number one. You could set it to music, really.

Kicking off proceedings in Wales was the delightfully dim-witted Natasha Paton Ali from Swanse(eee)a. Perhaps knowing deep down that her voice wouldn't cut it, she thought 'well, a flash of me fanny and a slip of me tits oughta do it'. Her hideous lilac ensemble matched perfectly with her glass-cracking voice as she endeavoured but failed to sing one note in tune. "Remember the height thing" warned Barlow kindly as she incorporated in some of her best moves in her attempt to woo the judge. 'Garee Barloow's avin it', she said. She'll be a keeper when it comes to the 'let's all point and laugh' performance from those most devoid of self awareness in the grand final...

To read Caroline's full review, head on over to our dedicated X Factor page...