You see, this makes sense. I always wondered by footballers got paid so much just for kicking a ball about, but I forgot to factor in the whole "angry mob" issue.

As you may, or may not, be aware, Wayne Rooney (reportedly) wants to leave Manchester United after declaring the team "lacks ambition." Having no interest in non-international footie, I can't offer an opinion on that. Anyway, rumour has it he has AC Milan, Chelsea and other teams sniffing around now, but the story most news outlets are leading with is the one involving a move to Man City. That seems unlikely, even to me (since the posting of this piece - at 9am this morning - Rooney has signed a 5 year deal with United).

Nonetheless, a mob of Man U supporting malcontents, who call themselves the "Men In Black Firm", took to hanging around the gates of Wayne's mansion (cue visual image of Rooney in a rubberised Batman suit) to voice their disdain for the player.

According to The Sun, the 40 balaclava clad muppets "descended on the star's home as he enjoyed a night in with wife Coleen and their baby son Kai. Arriving in a convoy of cars, they buzzed repeatedly on the footballer's intercom - telling him to come out and face them. One said through the speaker grille: 'We want to talk to you, Wayne. We want you to explain the real reason you want to leave. We're not going to hurt you.' Rooney saw the mob outside his home in Prestbury, Cheshire, at 8.30pm last night and refused to answer the door. Eight cops arrived within ten minutes and threatened to arrest the fans for public order offences unless they dispersed... Last night the mob's leader, who refused to be named (funny that), said: 'We don't believe what Rooney said about his reasons for leaving the club. We want answers. The club is struggling for money but it was struggling for money four months ago - so what's changed? He has got himself in a mess in his private life and we understand if he wants to run away abroad, but the least we deserve is that he's honest with us. If he joins City it's going to go off and he'll be seeing us again'... Another fan said: 'We're not here to scare him - we're fans, not thugs. But I can tell Wayne one thing, he wants to forget joining City. That really wouldn't be a good thing to do'."

Yeeah, kind of mixed messages there - given one of the men with nothing better to do was hanging about outside wielding a sign, which read: "Sign for City and you're dead." No wonder Wayne looks confused a lot of the time.