One can only assume that this gentleman had previously signed some kind of form permitting Madonna to manhandle him in such a manner. Also, spare a thought for the poor woman in the front row who then gets said man thrown on top of her.

Other video highlights include 14-year-old (and looking very grown up with it) Rocco expertly showcasing an epic skateboard fail; the camera cutting away whenever Madonna starts thrusting in the direction of anything; and the handy pics of Nikki Minaj that flash up whenever she features, because otherwise we'd have no idea who it was providing that unique vocals.

Now to the obvious. OK, firstly, it does sound like the track Rihanna rejected before Bitch Better Have My Money. Secondly, like we've said before, we're all on for Madonna being the self-appointed "person who opens the door for women to believe and understand and embrace the idea that they can be sexual and look good and be as relevant in their fifties or their sixties or whatever as they were in their twenties."

Madonna should indeed be praised for paving the way for women who all too often disappear in their 60s. I just hope there's more strings to the bow when I'm that age than frenzied gusset proffering. Plus some of us are looking forward to not having to maintain a ruse of effortless physical perfection.

As for Madonna's future, she's carving a career for herself as a "closet comedian." Here she is performing stand up for the first time.