As modeled by Helen Mirren, no less, and with a lakeside holiday in Arizona to test it out on.
Jimmy Kimmel played it relatively safe in his opening monologue at last night's Academy Awards, finding a way to equate the Oscar statuette with the ideal man post-Weinstein and raising issues like sexual harassment, gun control and other forms of activism all while still making jokes about the celebrities in the room (and some out of it as well).
Towards the end of his monologue, he brought up the annual issue of speech length, and revealed that the Oscar winner who delivered the shortest acceptance speech would receive an actual real life Kawasaki jet ski, which came modeled by Helen Mirren.
And that winner? Phantom Thread costume designer Mark Bridges, who won the Oscar for Best Costume Design, and took home the prize thanks to his 36-second acceptance speech and rode that bad boy out onto the stage with Mirren at the end of the show.