See, it wasn't just Selena Gomez getting relentlessly ridiculed despite not even being there; Justin also had to endure his nearest and dearest (or, in this case, Chris D’Elia) saying things like "You literally are a guy who has it all. Apart from respect, love, friends, good parents and a Grammy."
The most talk of Beiber's Comedy Central Roast - which is airing this side of the Atlantic tonight at 10pm) revolved around Martha Stewart. What was Martha Stewart going to say? Were they going to permit America's original lifestyle guru and queen of crumpets (despite her OITNB stint) to spill vitriol? No chance. They got her to proposition him. Which he seemed kind of into, to be fair.