*UPDATED BELOW* Sex photos of Nicolas Cage have been stolen. Happy breakfast everybody! It's OK, you're not going to be confronted with Nicolas in the nuddy at this hour of the morning - said photos, unlike Cage, are still currently under wraps. If you are disappointed by the lack of said photos in this article, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.
The Frozen Ground actor has drafted in police officers to recover steamy pictures of himself and ex-girlfriend Christina Fulton - the mother of his 22-year-old son Weston - that were allegedly stolen from her home.
TMZ reports law enforcement officials have arrested "handyman" (their term, not mine) Richard Orozco, who is accused of the theft, and charged him with felony burglary. However, Orozco has pleaded not guilty and the photos have yet to be found. Frightening, yes.
The arrest occurred last month and the handyman's bail has been set at a rather princely $1 million.
It's thought the pictures were stolen from Christina's home last April and the perp also nabbed four computers, as well as a box containing the illicit snaps. In other words, he's got hard copies... Apologies.
The 49-year-old actor/professional belligerent (we have history. Short story: he's a twat) began dating 46-year-old Christina in 1988 and the couple welcomed their son Weston into the world in December 1990.
Nicolas has been married three times since his relationship with Christina. Let's go through them, shall we? YAAAAAY! He wed Medium actress Patricia Arquette in 1995, but the marriage ended in divorce in 2001. The star then married Lisa-Marie Presley, because essentially it was the closest he was ever going to get to boning Elvis Presley, in August 2002. The novelty wore off after 3 months. The couple split in November 2002 and finalised their divorce in 2004.
The actor is currently married to former waitress Alice Kim, who is the mother of his eight-year-old son, Kal-El.They enjoy fighting in public. What couple doesn't.