The Variety Club Showbiz Awards took place last night, playing host to a number of cut price celebrities such as Jordan, Caprice, N-Dudz, the Feltz, Jamie Winstone, Sarah Cawood, Zoe Salmon, this scary yoke, Michelle Collins, a bobbleheaded Lucker, one or two peripherals from The Inbetweeners, two pints of larger and a pair of legs, that bird who made a career out of coming second on The Apprentice, Jayne Middlemiss's under eye concealer, and Barbara Windor's hairpiece.

If you're looking for a list of winners, I'm unable to help you in that regard at this point, as the Variety Club Showbiz site hasn't been updated as yet. Here's last year's winners if you're gagging for a list of some kind.

The Comedy Award Sponsored by Danepak
Michael McIntyre
Film Actor of the Year
Michael Sheen
Outstanding contribution to British Theatre
Kevin Spacey
Television presenter of the Year Award
Justin Lee Collins (my, how things have changed...)
The Classical Award sponsored by Classical FM
Faryl Smith
Outstanding Contribution to Popular Music
Spandau Ballet
The Caron Keating Breakthrough Talent Award
Pixie Lott
The Daily Mail Best British TV Judge Award
Simon Cowell
The Bernard Delfont Award for outstanding contribution to Showbusiness
Sir Ian McKellen