It's Valentine's Day, folks and you know what that means - everyone's out looking for the ride.
While some will be chilling with their other halves - gone are the days of wine at a classy restaurant, with Netflix in dowdy pajamas being the order of the day instead - others will be testing the water out there by going on a first date. If you're in the latter category, here are six ways your Valentine's Day date may end.
The Handshake
It's been a pretty shite date, if you're being honest with each other. The meal was actually pretty class but you realised before the starters that you have absolutely nothing in common. A date that felt more like an interview, it will end with a weird handshake and a strange parting comment like: 'Thanks for coming'
The Weird Hug
It's probably worse than the handshake because you've had a similarly atrocious time and now you've made the stupid decision of actually hugging them before parting ways. They don't want a hug, nor do you want to give one, but now you're holding your body against theirs pretending to be sound but deep inside it feels like that time when you were younger when your Mam used to make you hug your cousins even though you hated them.
The Quick Kiss On The Lips
It's been a grand night, the dinner was average enough and so was the conversation. You were probably punching above your weight anyway, the kiss on the lips was only because they felt sorry for you. You'll tell all your mates the next day that you got the shift.
The Awkward Shift
The date has gone OK. OK at the absolute best. You know full well you have no right to be lobbing the gob, but you've gone for it anyway, and now it's happening. A nice 2/3 minute score that was so awkward that you almost feel like apologising after it.
The Ignorant Shift
The conversation is so bad that it's actually less awkward just to lick the faces off each other. 30 minutes solid scoring, in which time you've planned your picks for weekend, contemplated what Tom Selleck would look like without the moustache, as well as imagined how you'd spend your money if you won the Lotto.
The Ride
You weren't sure if it was going to happen, but now you're both in the taxi heading to your place. Nothing has been verbalised but let's face it, you know it, they knows it, the taxi driver knows it; you're getting the ride tonight. Plus your face looks weird because your expression is in that strange place between neutral and a giddy uncontrolled smile.
Happy Valentine's Day, guys, and the best of luck.
