It's not every day your boss asks you to "do a bit about man boobs." We've clearly all been inspired by one anonymous artist's portrayal of Brian Cowen's alluded appendages (try as we might, we couldn't find a picture of the wind beating against Cowen's chest), but who might An Taoiseach's main rivals be in the moobs department? Yep, one of today's tasks involves hunting down the Katy Price of the professional world. My job is weird.

Firstly, we'd like to say to any teenage boys who might be experiencing gynecomastia - don't worry, the swelling usually subsides. Today's main (easy) targets include paunchy middle aged men in positions of power. These men generally have everything, so why not a pair of portable breast they're at liberty to fondle at any time?

Behold our moobtopia menagerie in order of splendour: in joint 7th place, we have two golfers - Phil Mickelson and Colin Montgomerie (I'd sway hooshing them together to swing a club might have something to do it). 6th place goes to Vladimir Putin (he pipped Colin and Phil to the post due to the masterful way he handles a rod while being in posession of no body hair), while 5th and 4th places goes to Ricky Gervais and John TravoltaSimon Cowell comes in 2nd, while Jack Nicholson unsurprisingly romps home the winner. The bountiful bosom complimented by the puposeful breakfast roll munching, the sun, sea and yacht... The man is amplitude personified.

Before anyone suggests Jack Black or Arnold Schwarzenegger, we don't think their offerings measure up to these beauties... One could mention the moob montage we have here of David Gest, Johnny Vegas and John McCririck but they're not really high profile (in the "has everything" sense) enough.

Overlook the minor detail that this has already been chronicled in countless magazines. This time you can make a difference by expressing your opinion via a comment. Did, in your opinion, get the order right? Can you think of anyone else of note who might qualify? Or are you too busy tutting your dissapointment in us/heaving over the side of your desk...