First thing's first - we've been informed that three housemates nominated Coolio and four went for Ulrika yesterday morning. We're a bit in the dark, however, as to who exactly nominated who. I thought it'd be shown on last night's instalment but, alas, we had an hour of drivel, hairy backs, shouting, more costumes and a near "assault" by Ulrika. But more on that in a minute. Considering we've not been made aware who nominated who, why don't we have some fun and venture a guess?! C'mon, we need all the enthusiasm we need on this blue Monday!

Judging by the snippets shown on BBLB yesterday afternoon, LaToya nominated Ulrika for being "controlling". Terry nominated either Ben, Tommy or Coolio (not entirely sure as he mentioned "caterwauling"), and Ben presumably nominated Ulrika for talking to people "like they're children" (as opposed to LaToya, who speaks like a child... unless she's talking about Michelle to Coolio. Then she becomes remarkably astute, even if she is a little off the mark). I reckon Tommy also nominated Ulrika as well as Verne, while Michelle, Ulrika and either Ben or Terry nominated Coolio.

OK, so guessing who nominated who wasn't nearly as exciting as I'd hoped, thankfully we have song task to fall back on. Ben's personality sprouted for a spell while thinking up lyrics for his fellow housemates. Michelle said she wasn't happy with what she divvied up (something along the lines of "Me and Ben aren't the new Posh and Becks, love my Hugh, can't wait for sex"...), so Ben offered: "I used to be in a band, I thought our songs were good but really they were bland… Im always orange and wear lots of fake tan... Im the worst paid here, only got five grand". Michelle, of course, thought this was hilarious, saying "Oh, I MUCH prefer that, f**k the Ben and Michelle thing!" Indeed. Ben really came into his own however with this priceless nugget for Tommy: "Tommy, you're so hairy, you don't need a jumper 'cause you've got a sweater. You want Michelle but you'll never get her. When she looks at me she's never been wetter." SHAZAAAM! Did Michelle run off crying to the Diary Room? Did she feck.

Patches McGregorHairyHamHocks didn't respond to Ben's deft lyricism with the usual riotous explosion of cacophonic cackling. No, Tommy was having an off day. Probably because when it was announced they were to have a song task, Ulrika bellowed: "Can Tommy be a roady? NO singing…" And I don't think she was even privy to that deligtful socialist song (something about standing together and how owning a house was "a sin"?) he sang to the boys last week. Tommy then marched off to trot around the garden after huffing: "I'll do whatever you think I should do." Um, I dunno, have a back wax? Anyway, long and the short of it is, they all got dressed up and murdered some sh*t they wrote. Coolio looked like a superpsychadelic Hendrix, Tommy was a David Coverdale and Joe Elliot mongrel circa Pour Some Sugar on Maaay, Verne did a fine impression of what George Michael would've looked like had he been outed during WHAM!,  while Terry did Gollum doing Debbie Harry.

Last Night's Higlights: Verne telling Michelle she was better looking than Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson (?!)... Ulrika telling Tommy he had a "bonkers sense of humour"... Tommy describing Ulrika's treatment of Terry during the song's performance as an "assault" (she grabbed him out of the way like a child cause he was stealing her thunder, basically)... Coolio attempting to high five LaToya after successfully bowling a ball while blindfolded, only for her to squeal "I just washed my hands!!" Last Night's Lowlights: Tommy's naked state. What We Can Expect Tonight: Lots of whooping thanks to chili consumption... the resulting wind... Ulrika getting evicted...

*UPDATE*: The Sun have their sources arsed up. They're now saying: "A spokeswoman for CBB today said rumours that the nominated celebrities are Ulrika Jonsson and Coolio are incorrect... The oblivious contestants will be set a task to make a film about their time in the house. And just as they get comfortable watching their masterpiece, Davina McCall will catch them unaware and announce that the public has voted one of them out. The celebrity in question will have to pack their bag and leave immediately." All that guessing of mine was in vain...

*UPDATE PART 2*: Ulrika and Michelle are in fact up for nomination. Ulrika got 5 votes, while Michelle got 3. And Michelle just got hoofed out the door.