The usual thing: Simon Cowell plucks a rough diamond from the controlled masses to appear "daaah wiv de kidz", and then goes about polishing her beyond recognition. Not that I'm complaining, mind, I like having pretty things to look at.

Anyway, X Factor bosses consider Tulisa Constsaldnatadopolis so in need of scrubbing that they've declared she needs in the region of £70k to look presentable. Here's a few words from The Sun's omnipresent source for the show:

"'They put aside so much for Tulisa because you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. They want her to be the new nation's sweetheart. She looked too chavvy and cheap on the first-day auditions so producers gave her a bigger budget for clothes and styling. They want her to have a designer look with chic class - more Posh Spice than Vicky Pollard in Little Britain, which was how she has looked more than a few times.' Referring to the outfit she wore at X Factor auditions in Birmingham, the source added: 'We thought she'd turned up in her pyjamas. Something had to be done... She has gained confidence. It's amazing what an Alexander McQueen dress and proper make-up can do'."

Yeah, it can get the hoards of impressionables into massive debt trying to emulate some tw*t off the telly they used to identify with for whatever reason.

OK, so since the generously crotched onesie debacle, Tulisa has been on a solid diet of mini dresses - apart from this set back. Not all of them have been pretty, or exactly original (well, hellew, Cheryl Sherzinger), but it does mean she gets to flash her nicks at the papparazzi, so everyone's a winner.