Any woman who's been through it will tell you that giving birth is no cake walk - but this particular story is almost too bonkers to believe.
Tia Freeman shared her truly bizarre but undeniably impressive story of how she gave birth to her son last month - in a hotel room. In Instanbul. By herself. While on a mid-trip airport layover.
Aside from the fact that she essentially attempted to 'ignore' her pregnancy and embark on a trip to Germany that she had planned, her MacGyver-type skills and essentially YouTubing how to give birth by yourself is seriously hard to believe, but it's all true - she even became a minor celebrity in Turkey after the news broke.
Most importantly, the casual way she tells it - along with her choice of gifs - makes it all the more amusing.
Read it in full below (warning: it's pretty long....):
I still really don’t understand what’s so shocking about my delivery story. Lol maybe it’ll set in one day.
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Might as well tell you now lol. Give me a little time though because it’s sort of a long story 😂😂
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
I didn’t know I was pregnant for awhile (already in my 3rd trimester) and before you ask the birth control I was on made it so I didn’t have a cycle every month. So not having a period wasn’t an indicator for me. On top of that I didnt really gain any weight.
Me when I found: pic.twitter.com/An5QA3hX8A
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So then I’m in denial for another month after that like there’s no way a Bitch is preggo. At this point I’m working in VA and away from everyone so I just decided not to tell anyone. My dumbass was like maybe it’ll just go away... pic.twitter.com/TtSMTqc7Ln
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So I had already purchased tickets for a vacay in Germany and ya girl was not about to waste international flight money. So I was like if the boy comes on time I should be all good in the hood. So I came home for two seconds before hopping on the my flight to Germany. pic.twitter.com/SWYOpatnEN
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So everything is going well no biggie but dawg this is a 14hr flight & there was a complimentary meal but everything had meat in it & you know I’m a vegetarian so I was like I can’t eat this but 14 hrs was too long to wait so I decided to eat the salmon hoping I wouldn’t get sick pic.twitter.com/9CfF4XzYzT
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
No I don’t know if it was he salmon, the flight, or it was just my time but out of no where I start cramping up. I’ve still got like an hour left before we land. I just knew I had food poisoning. Y’all I was HURT pic.twitter.com/WBgWcG0NkU
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
I’m like oooooh shit where are these cramps coming from? You know what I’ll just go to sleep. Sleep cures everything right pic.twitter.com/z9QcUxdMtD
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So anyway I make it until we land but when I wake up the cramps have gotten worse and I’m like okay I just want to make it to my hotel. Its my layover and I’m only here (Istanbul, Turkey) for 17hrs. But getting through customs took FOREVVVVVVVERRRRR pic.twitter.com/VUFDhyrCR1
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
I’m literally gripping the railing trying to make it through the lines. At this point I feel like I’m about to pass out. I’m sweating. I feel like I have to vomit. I’m going through it. Then I’m like wait a minute bitch are you in labor?!!! pic.twitter.com/p6SMEfunP0
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So my ass decides to google it. The internet was like well my good sis the only thing different between labor and Braxton Hicks is your water breaking. This was completely not helpful so now I gotta wait until then to knownif this is legit or not. pic.twitter.com/fzXPGcDtV0
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Either way it goes I’m not giving birth in this airport so I start gassing myself up bc I am NOT having a baby in this airport. I start talking to myself like Bitch what you’re not gonna do is give birth on the airport floor. So you need to get it together & make it to your hotel pic.twitter.com/Ywjk9fmsaD
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
I make it to my hotel & now I’m sure I’m in labor. There is no way in the world I’m not in labor because I can barely standup at this point. So I’m in a foreign country, where no one speaks english, I don’t know this country’s emergency number, & I have no clue what to do. pic.twitter.com/sk6k10zdu5
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So in true millennial form I decided to @Youtube it 😂😂. If no one else had my back the internet would! So here my ass is in my hotel room all by my lonesome learning how to deliver my own baby pic.twitter.com/v13ZhF6O8h
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So yo it’s GAME TIME. I don’t have time to be nervous. It’s time to get shit done. I spring into action. Filling up the tub with warm water #WaterBirth, grabbing a towel to bite down on, grabbing another towel to wrap him/her up with whenever it pops out pic.twitter.com/PVu2SWLCiG
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
It’s weird how focused a person becomes when they’re adrenaline starts going. Because at no point ever did I freak out. Like I just did what I had to do.
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So anyway. I strip down and climb in the tub. The internet said there were a couple positions that people find the most comfortable. I picked the one that worked for me and I was like okay BOOM let’s birthed this baby. pic.twitter.com/I6BabFMcCD
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So the internet said I shouldn’t start pushing until my contractions where 2mins apart. Bc you don’t want to exhaust yourself too early and then not have any energy when the kids ready to come, you know? And I’m like okay bitch you’ve got a timer on your phone. You can do this! pic.twitter.com/QSi7iJ4vAx
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
My contractions were already at a minute a part lol I was late as hell. I BARELY made it to my room. 😂😂😂 so I throw the towel in my mouth and start pushing. And I have NEVVVVEEERRRR felt any pain like this in my life. I felt like I was being split open. WHERE WAS MY EPIDURAL?! pic.twitter.com/HGlootcNHu
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Luckily it happened pretty quickly. I only had to push about 5-6x before a baby popped out. Lol now let me tell you babies are buoyant. That little joker said bloop and floated right on up to the top of the water 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/IuqwKXFb2L
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
At this point I have no clue what the sex of the baby is so after catching my breath I lift it up like “What is it?” pic.twitter.com/dMUwCDO58X
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Also Side Note: #WaterBirths are not as pretty as what you see on @YouTube there was no tranquil, hippie music playing gently in the back ground, or amazing natural lighting. It gets MESSY. pic.twitter.com/Igv5g6i7C4
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Anyways ITS A BOYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! And the very first thing I do is pull up his natal chart 😂😂😂 born March 7, 2018 in Istanbul Turkey 🇹🇷 pic.twitter.com/UPrhMBzLSu
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Lol the story isn’t over yet 😂 he’s out but the placenta is still inside of me. Now according to the internet you’re not supposed to pull it out bc it has to seal itself back up or something idk lol.
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Warning Viewer Discretion is Advised âš ï¸Â?
So I’m sitting with Young Xay laying on my chest waiting for the placenta to pass. The internet told me to rub my lower abdomen to persuade my placenta to come on out. So her I am baby in one arm rubbing my pelvis with the other hand lol
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Can I just say that walking around with the umbilical cord hanging out of me totally gave me the impression of what it would be like to have a penis. 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Dicpn2ljSq
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So finally it feels like I’m having another contraction and I assume this is the placenta ready to drop it like it’s hot. So I shuffle to the bathroom and sit down on the toilet because idk where else to go 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/UpGTANtLnh
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
Almost immediately as I sit down it plops out. The hotel had these sanitation baggies in the bathroom so I just picked it up by the cord and dropped it in the bag. Now it’s still attached to him so now I’ve got to google how to cut an umbilical cord. pic.twitter.com/urJHrIu9mN
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 24, 2018
So I didn’t have any clamps like it suggested but what I did have were shoelaces lol. Hear me out 😂. In Turkey everyone drinks tea/coffee so every hotel room had an electric kettle. So I just boiled some water to sterilize the laces so that I could use them as clamps. pic.twitter.com/2vObBQz6eu
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
And everyone knows that ya girl stays strapped ðŸ˜Å½. I don’t go anyyyyyyyywhere without my knives. And because of this I’ll probably never go anywhere without them again. pic.twitter.com/vAbCZ6bb1K
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Okay so it’s been a second so I may be a little iffy on the exact details but it went something like this. You’re supposed to measure off like 2inches from the stomach and tie one lace and then tie the other inch another inch from there. Now you cut the cord in between. pic.twitter.com/t3EzOHmro2
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Now I haven’t been nervous this whole time but cuttingbthis cord is freaking me out lmao like what if I hurt this man?! So I’m poking the cord with the knife to see if it affects him. pic.twitter.com/mkmQfKP7S2
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Fortunately it doesn’t (which the internet said it wouldn’) so I cut right into that thang! And it’s tougher than it looks lol pic.twitter.com/dRXfpwuesa
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Umbilical cord cut and I did a mighty fine job if I do say so myself 😌! At this point exhaustion is beginning to set in. But I need to clean up the bathroom because it looked like the set of a horror movie pic.twitter.com/DyvlwXXeQ2
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
So I clean up the bathroom, breastfeed my baby, and go to sleep. No I do not go to the hospital I take my ass to bed. 😂😂 so the next day I wake up for and get ready to go to the airport because I already paid for the cab the night before & even though I knew I couldn’t fly out
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
I didn’t know what I would need to leave the country with a newborn baby and I thought no better place to ask than the airport. pic.twitter.com/wTEhjfoIqC
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
When I get there the airport workers are freaking out bc you can tell this baby is fresh. I legit didn’t have any baby clothes & made him something out of my favorite blue oversized button down (RIP 😢). Anyway they thought I was a human trafficker trying to smuggle out a baby. pic.twitter.com/dc0BCDv75J
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
So they called in customs, the police, a doctor & a nurse (to check the baby & me to see if I actually gave birth), and the airline higher ups. I was bombarded with questions (naturally) but finally I proved that I wasn’t a trafficker. During this I called the @USEmbassyTurkey. pic.twitter.com/HH9zQybcHB
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Anyway there’s a knocked on the room that I’m in an someone comes in and says “they want to take your picture.” I’m thinking this was a part of the investigation. It was not lol. I walk out and there are press EVERYWHERE!!! pic.twitter.com/YdCSC4U1U9
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Idk how they found out but someone tipped them off to my story and they had all the questions lol. If you google my name and Istanbul Turkey articles will pop up 😂😂😂. It’s all in Turkish though so good luck with that lol 🤷ðŸÂ?¾â™€ï¸Â?
(These are the ladies who helped me) pic.twitter.com/JsHQEUjtMy
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Side Note:
Shoutout to @TurkishAirlines this was hands down the best flight, attendants, services, and overall workers I’ve ever experienced. Everyone was so nice! They bought him his first outfit lol. Because he was damn near naked when he arrived 😂 pic.twitter.com/8R1TbasUJx
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Anyway @TurkishAirlines shuttles me over to the US Consulate for free with a translator (really shoutout to them!) and when I get there a journalist pops out of nowhere trying to ask me question like ma’am! How did you even find me?! pic.twitter.com/P64aq12xCv
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
So the translator is like like miss maybe later. The reporter was like okay I’ll wait. So I’m in the consulates for like 2/3 hours (it has been a superrrrrrrr long day). So as I’m inside I have to answer a bunch of the same questions & apply for his birth certificate & passport pic.twitter.com/X3JptPMaJi
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
After everything they say they’re going to take me to the hospital. It’s been almost 24hrs since I’ve given birth. But before I can go my consulate contact comes back & tells me I have to go out the back & get escorted by this special agent bc the press were too heavy out front. pic.twitter.com/WE8YBFSVRa
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
To wrap up I go to the hospital get checked out everything is fine. He’s perfectly healthy! Lol the doctors were shocked to hear my story. I made national news & people would stop us to take pictures all the time & a random elderly woman grabbed my boob as I was breastfeeding pic.twitter.com/gGp4lJvEvl
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Because she was showing me the correct way to do it 😂. Because I gave them so much publicity Turkish Airlines paid for my hotel stay for two weeks, comped all my meals, upgrade @BBills_ & my return flights to business class and we enjoyed the lavish business lounge. The end 😂
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Oh yeah and the press were there when we flew back to the states too 😂😂 I think I covered everything pic.twitter.com/SJeRa9dsID
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Oh and no one knew I had a baby until days after I gave birth to him (not even my mom) so I sprang this story on everyone 😂😂😂😂
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
Here he is Xavier Ata Freeman born March 7, 2018 in Istanbul, Turkey! My little surprise bundle of international joy!
(His middle name is Turkish) pic.twitter.com/HVlnvqEClQ
— Tia Freeman (@TheWittleDemon) April 25, 2018
All we can say is that this lady needs her own survivalist TV show, or something.
