At the Hollywood Style Awards, you'd expect a lot of style, am I right? Enviable collections of clothing adorning pristine beings. Not this... pierrot clown inspired Germanic air hostess offering?
OK, firstly we must address the matter of the snapper being a giant. Or, at the very least, an average sized person who insisted on utilising an Easy Step. The angle at which the photos have been taken are stumpifying at best, rendering the subjects more lollipopped headed than usual. Even the lumbering Cory Monteith looks slightly dwarfed... while Kate Bosworth looks average sized - unless the photographer did away with his step ladder for her cause he couldn't get her in shot, which means the photographer is the same size as Kate Bosworth, hence the step ladder, and so on.
Right, to the outfits. Or, rather, the facial expressions. One of the very few people who went for full on smile was Jayma Mays, and that's 'cause she's after getting engaged. The photographer also managed to wangle a grin out of Lea Michele, but that was probably down to malnourishment induced delirium. Everyone else seems intent on conveying their "tude", with mixed results. Mena Suvari, Krysten Ritter and Victoria Justice pull it off, while Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, Yu Tsai, Natasha Leggero, and The Big Bang Theory's Kaley Cuocu are halfway between "I do sex good" and "ye bleedin' startin', or wha'?"
Sorry, to the outfits. What's going on here. Is that an immaculately cut dress that's been hastily attacked by a sex worker who's a gifted seamstress by day? It's like a Halloween costume - you know, "Oh, don't mind me, I'm just your everyday health care worker (or, in this case, a black tie event attendee), but the lace and the rudimentary swatches of cloth make me NAUGHTY." I'm galled and slightly aroused all at once. She's clearly not wearing any underwear, but her hair and facial expression just says "angel". Put it this way, Natasha Leggero couldn't pull this off in a fit.
So yeah, if dark and possibly horny angels, half the cast of Glee, bet on leopard print, nondescript black dresses, Adam Ant lite, padded sleeping bags, and a hospital room dividers tacked to a vest represent "style" then Sunday's Hollywood Style Awards was awash with it. So it was. No really, it was. All these people can't be wrong, Gawdnammit!