Hellew! It's been a while since I've put finger to keyboard but I've managed to come out of hiding to report on the last night Meteor Awards *whoops*. Here's all of last night's happenings, along with some pictures.
We also have Video Interviews with some of the stars.
Firstly, The Stereophonics opened the proceedings with a Jive Bunny Mega Mix of their greatest hits (incidentally, they've just released a greatest hits album)
BEST IRISH MALE: Presented by Bernard Dunne (man, he's a wee ball of muscle) and Jasmine Guinness (random combo). And the winner was - Mick Flannery (the Corkonian Johnny Cash later admitted to leaving his "award on the stairs' before shuffling off with it shoved under his armpit).
BEST INTERNATIONAL MALE: Presented by Louis Walsh (who was booed by a large segment of the crowd. It's also worth mentioning that nominee Chris Brown's name was met with cheers. Worrying) - James Morrisson won, which was surprising considering he was the only nominee to turn up. He took to the stage in a jovial manner with a Paddy’s day badge and his name tag (each row of seats had an A4 sheet emblazoned with the nominees name) stuck to his foot.
HOPE FOR 2009: Presented by Rick O'Shea. The 2fm DJ came across as a complete MAVERICK by throwing away his cue card to impart some stuff viewers at home are due to miss out on, like: "Imelda May smells incredible" (her ass surpassed that) and "I want Mick Pyro's hat" (it was a purple beret which was channeling Edith Piaf. His jacket, meanwhile, was channeling Jackie Chan). The winner was Wallis Bird, who negotaited a chirpy cartwheel of joy (complete with pink Docs being propelled skyward) before saying she was overcome with "shyness".
Duke Special and his band of motley musicians then took to the stage to sing 'Sweet Kisses', which involved a mummy in shades (presumably the Invisible Man) on keyboards (which could be construed as a Ray Charles theme gone too far), and a dance routine with a hairy umbrella (it looked like gorilla bollock).
BEST IRISH FEMALE: Imelda May won and thank God because she was sporting a very tight green leopard print dress (which was later replaced with something Dennis the Menace would’ve had the horn for).
BEST IRISH POP ACT: You’ll never guess (Westlife) who won. Seriously - it’s been nearly a decade in a row now. So bored are they with winning, only Shane and Nicky bothered turning up. Nicky took the time to thank their “wives, girlfriends and boyfriends”, followed by “Shane only has his wife with him tonight…” His girlfriend and boyfriend must’ve been otherwise engaged.
INDUSTRY AWARD: Joe Elliot and Dave Fanning presented the award to Niall ‘Hot Press hair’ Stokes.
Gabriella Cilmi banged out Sweet About Me, followed by a duet with Enrique Inglasias (host Amanda ‘autocue’ Byram chose to intruduce him as the “Spanish Dickie Rock” [“escupida en mí Dickie”])
BEST LIVE PERFORMANCE: Introduced by Byram as Craig “sporty traveller” Doyle and a little person from Harry Potter. The Blizzards won.
BEST IRISH ALBUM: Presented by the dude from The Café (who was “dying for a wazz”, which I indentified with enormously), some bird called Sinead, and yer man from Liberty X. The Script won. They didn’t turn up.
BEST INTERNATIONAL BAND: Elbow, who also managed to be in attendance as they were playing. Personally, it was the highlight of the night.
The Blizzards threw out a staggering performance, especially considering Bresy had “lost” his guitar and had to make do with some gammy red thing (Rory Gallagher fans might empathise).
Stephen Rea (looking remarkably akin to John Spillane) bestowed the late Ronnie Drew with a special Tribute Award.
Imelda May, resplendent in her rubber, then gave us an arousing rendition of ‘Johnny Got a Boom Boom’.
BEST REGIONAL DJ: It went to 98FM’s Dermot, Dave and Siobhan . For a display in how not to conduct an acceptance speech, tune in to the awards on RTE tonight. On the upside, presenter Nancy Cartwright asked co-presenter Lucy Kennedy “No really, who the hell are you?” in Bart Simpson’s voice.
BEST NATIONAL DJ: Ray Foley won again.
THE HUMANITARIAN AWARD: Father Shay Cullen.
MOST DOWNLOADED SONG: Feckin’ Galway Giddle for the second year in a row.
BEST BAND: The Script.
LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: Went to the very lovely/young Sharon Shannon.
ADDITIONAL HIGHLIGHTS: Seeing Lorcan from Fair City sporting a belt emblazoned with his own name in diamonte… seeing Pat Kenny (he was presenting Father Shay with his most deserved award) up close. He was being interviewed by Michelle Doherty backstage and you could almost hear a choice area of his trousers creaking. It was probably his circuit board working overtime… Enrique looking freaked when he realisd diving into the crowd wasn’t the best of ideas… Nial Breslin’s jacket… Off The Rails presenter Brendan Courtney actually wearing spatz… ADDITIONAL LOWLIGHTS: the “three minute ad breaks” lasting around 10 minutes, presumably so Byram could make yet another costume change… Byram saying “I only changed cause I got a little excited watching James Morrison… Not being permitted to depart until Sharon Shannon and Mundy crowed out the extended version of Galway Girl… Not being able to leave for a further ten minutes as Camille O’Sullivan then joined them onstage for an ole caterwaul… KC and Lenny not winning Best Regional DJ (the latter of which had gone to the trouble of buying himself a new pair of pants and everything…)