It's novel to see an LA premiere that makes the usual dubious Leicester Square guest list look splendiferous by comparison. No, seriously, it's a very messed up day when the most famous female in attendance - that being miniature train crash that's Bi for pay, Tila Tequila - looks presentable, dodgy tats 'n all, in the wake of this lot.

OK, this one gets away with it, probably cause she's the film's main source of totty. And accompanying ladies A and B (although B really needs a feed, if only to encourage some circulation into her legs). But this looks a bit odd. And this looks a bit cheap. Questionable. And what in the name of jaaaayzis is this? Or this? Potato sack? Not working for you. Seriously, enough already. And, finally, ARGH!

Proudly representing 'nothing to do with the film' male contingent: Sylvester Stallone...

By the by, this is the film the very charming Donald Sutherland described as "magnificent" while on Graham Norton's show last week. For shame, Donald, for shame. Although, once he mentioned it also starred Jason Statham, we knew he was lying.