The premiere of the new A-Team film took place in LA last night and, if the guest list is anything to go by (and past guest lists have suggested as much), it's not going to be up to much.
Apart from the cast, who we'll get to in a jiffy, we had Spencer Pratt's sister; The bird K-Fed dumped to go out with Britney; these three visions; kool kat Adrian Brody - who's hawking himself on any spare red carpets going cause he has a few new movies out this summer; and Minnie Driver. Let's pause a moment to consider Driver's dress. Is it just me, or does it look like she was in the throws of trying to release herself from a particularly tight crazy coat and was caught mid-wriggle. You know, like Houdini but in MUCH snugger apparel? It looks as if she was in the midst of shimmying out of her left sleeve and yanking the dress around so the freed sleeve could jimmy down the front of her dress for, I dunno, a cheap thrill. Strange. And as for the sheer tightness of it all; again, if you can see the outline of your bellybutton, it's too tight. Ergo, I need an entirely new wardrobe. Honestly, my belly is hypnotic at the moment.
Back to the cast. Fling your eyes over the 2010 incarnations of B.A. Baracus, Faceman, random broad (AKA Captain Charisa Sosa), Murdoch, and Hannibal. Yeeeeeah, I don't buy it either, but Bradley looks nice, especially perched on top of a tank (I'm telling myself he singlehandedly flew the helicopter. And that it's me he's pointing at) and the Biel knows how to showcase the wares.
But d'you know what the big giveaway is regarding the quality of this picture? ProducerRidley Scott's head. Look at the hack on that. How f*cking pissed off does it look? It's like Russel Crowe's told him never to call again.
