Chat up lines: There're many different forms that they take, from the downright cheesy to the direct and borderline intimidating. There's much to be said about their effectiveness and what role they play in helping us to woo a partner, but do they work? Or, should we ignore using them all together?

Let's take a look at the various forms of the phenomenon that is the chat up line, to help us decide:


This approach cops a lot of stick, and rightly so. The cheesy chat up line tends to be both soppy and cringey and is 99% guaranteed to destroy any chance you may have had with the person who is subjected to it. Leave the cheese at home, lads, it doesn't work.


The man that tries the suave route is usually trying to impress through the means of bragging.

These dudes may have nice things like a fast car, a fancy apartment or the complete collection of Lionel Richie vinyl records but, unfortunately, they don't have the sense to keep that all quiet. The chances of it working are, pretty much, zero.


You've probably spent the past 10 minutes thinking about what you were wanting to say and how you would say it, but because you've built it up so much, you end up making a hames of it altogether. Those nerves will get the better of you, if you're not careful.

The success rate for this line is not as dismal as one may think, though. Sometimes these mishaps come off as endearing, and what began as a blunder has now won you a number.


The cheeky chat up line is probably the closest relative to its cheesy cousin. The main difference between the 2 is that, in this case, the person is totally aware that the chat up line itself is cringey but will deliver it with a level of charm and humour that might stand him a chance of impressing somebody. Irish men are particularly good at this one, due to the fact that most of us are pure chancers, anyway.

Say it with a smile, lads. You might get away with it.


The Joey, made famous by Matt Le Blanc in the hit TV show Friends, is a very common form of chat up. Again, it can come in its classic form, a look up and down followed by the famous words 'How you doin'?', but The Joey encapsulates any variation on this, and can include winks as well as the plain old head nod.

Again, the levels of success here are minimal, it may work on TV but, at the end of the day, you are not Matt Le Blanc and, more often than not, you will come across as a sleazemeister.


Last but certainly not least, is the straight up genuine inquiry. It may seem hard to believe, but this is without a doubt the most effective form of chat up line. Free from all the rigmarole of the latter lines, the genuine inquiry is honest and free from any sense of ulterior motive and, believe it or not, people respect that.

So get things off on the right foot, be cool and enter into an actual conversation.

On the whole chat up lines serve no real purpose. It may sound lame, but the best thing a man can do is be himself and try to have a normal conversation. Girls are smart and they can sense when somebody is trying to cod them, so give up on the lines and routines.

It would probably help to make sure your breath is fresh, though, just in case you do get the shift. Pop a CB12 boost chewing gum, take a deep breath and go introduce yourself, but for God's sake don't be a sleazeball and drop a crappy chat up line.