The 6 techniques used to escape someone's nasty breath

There are a number of things one can do to save the feelings of someone who has bad breath. The various techniques range from the obvious to the not so obvious, and depending on how well you perform them, they can protect you from invading odours, as well as keeping everyone's dignity intact.

We look at the various avenues used to escape those stink bombs:

#1 THE DODGE

This is a difficult technique to master, mainly because you don't want the person to realise that you've just dodged their breath. For The Dodge to work, it must be executed with maximum suave and nonchalence.

Robbie Sheehan gives us an excellent example of how a true Dodge should be performed. Class act.

#2 THE HEAD MOVE BACK

One of the more common examples of avoiding bad breath. Partly conscious and partly a subconscious reaction, the Head Move Back will position one's head further away from the smell source giving more space for the breath to distinguish before it hits your face. It's not a complete problem solver but it will buy you some time to ponder your next move.

#3 THE HAND ON/NEAR NOSE

This is a very effective tool in dealing with someone's bad breath. It benefits from a subtle quality that other techniques lack, primarily because there is little to no head movement required to execute it . Cunning positioning of the hand can block smells from entering the nose almost entirely, allowing you to converse close to full capacity. The true pros of this technique may even spray their hand with perfume for a greater affect.

#4 THE BREATH HOLD

The breath hold has it's obvious advantages, as it defends against smells and tastes (and lord knows there's nothing worse than tasting someone's breath, yuck), as well as making you seem like an excellent listener. There is one blaring limitation, though; one can only hold their breath for so long before... well, before you can't hold it anymore.

Pro Tip: It's always a good idea to pair a Breath Hold with elaborate hand gestures. Not only will it allow you to communicate while simultaneously making you seem more Italian, but it will also serve to dissipate any bad smell aligning itself with your orifices. See below:

#5 THE STEP BACK

Moving into the more obvious territory, now. The Step Back is reserved for some of the most repulsive breaths. You can try to make it look smooth and unsuspecting but, at the end of the day, there's no easy way to walk away from someone for no apparent reason.

#6 THE RUN AWAY

This is the absolute last resort. While it is the most effective means of avoiding someone's bad breath, keep in mind, that while you're running away from the odour, you're also running away from any friendship that you may have had.

Some people may choose to pair it with an excuse like 'sorry, I have to go see if the chickens are in the house' or some other non sensical equivalent, but if someone's breath is that bad then there's no point in risking opening your mouth and leaving yourself open to tastes. Just leg it.

Obviously there is a final option available to you. That is, of course, just telling someone that they have a problem, or better still, if you have a packet of CB12 gum on you, giving them a couple to chew on. Neither of you will be spared embarrassment, but it is the ultimate problem solver and, at the end of the day, if they're a true friend they'll thank you for it.

Honesty is the best policy, lads. Say what you feel.