Face like a slapped turbot doesn't even cover it... Of course, there could be any number of reasons why Cheryl's ma is looking the way she's looking - she may not enjoy having flashbulbs popping in her eyeballs, for example - but man can Joan do dour...

Maybe she was having so much fun she didn't want to leave?? Nope, this is her on the way in...

Fair enough. If my daughter had decided to marry after a purported 3 month whirlwind romance, I'd have my reservations too. Ah, hang on, here's one of her grinning - after the security guard gets her involved.

Those smiling up a storm at last night's celebrations included Rochelle and Marvin Humes, Kimberly Walsh, Nicola Roberts (yep, Nicola managed a smile), and Cheryl's brother, who's the spit of Jason off Corrie.

No sign of Sarah Harding, Nadine Coyle, or any of the X Factor lot.