"Everyone knows I love LA. But London, watch out - I'm coming to town and bringing my fast-paced life with me. I'm in the UK all the time, but of course I can't bring all my friends, so I've decided to look for a new BFF across the pond. I need a best friend who is hot, who can keep up with me, and most of all, who is real and won't be a backstabber. I'm not leaving London until I find that amazing girl or guy who can meet the challenges of being my British bestie!"

Somewhere, Calum Best's desperation senses are tingling: "Hark! That is the lone cry of a fellow reality TV star in dire need of a career "life line"... SHHH?! I believe she's blonde and once looked awake in a sex video! To the Tw*t Mobile!"

In all seriousness though - people of London, she's not leaving your homestead until she gets a new mate. Considering about 20 people were in line for the NYC auditions of the American version (is there even photographic evidence of the "winner" of that show?), your only collective option is to inform the likes of Sophie Anderton, Bianca Gascoigne, Dannielle Lloyd, Wayne Rooney's cousin with the new boobs, and Lee Ryan/Sharpe - they'll be there with bells on. They might even engage is some kind've Mongolian clustering/cat fight for the cameras.