You might know her better as "Twiglet Tits" ('cause she looks like a twiglet with mammaries?), or as the "fiancee of Peterborough United player Tom Williams"? OK, she's going to be on I'm a Celebrity? Anyway, just as well she's got those appendages 'cause, quelle surprise, there's little going on upstairs...
"I'm getting married - so the guys (in the jungle) won't interest me. But a bit of girl-on-girl, that's not cheating, is it?" When The Sun suggested that Martina might fancy a whirl, TT said: "She can have a little look and a fondle if she fancies it". Nice. The basic one continues with: "Tom and I don't do threesomes. We love having sex together but he would never suggest that. I'm the outrageous one. He's much more straight-laced than me. People think glamour models are slags - but I'm absolutely in love with Tom. Yet I do like to look at girls. I wouldn't mind giving another girl a go - if she was hot... Tom is so hot. This will be the longest I've gone without it since I've been with him. I'll miss having a nice cuddle and a kiss with him... I don't let anyone see me without make-up normally. Just wearing mascara will be the least make-up Tom has ever seen me wear... I got my roots done, my nails done, my eyelashes tinted and I had a few sunbeds. I've got amazing boobs and, hopefully, that's what everyone will be looking at. I feel quite confident in my body."
NARRRGGHHH, MAKEITSTOP!! *breaths*. OK, It's official - boobs are the most powerful hypnotic force on earth. Nicola's must have the power to emit soft, lulling music too to drown out whatever atypical drivel she's chirruping. I wonder what tune they'll play when they're swaying down by her toes in 40 odd years' time... Not to worry, I'm sure Tom'll stick around for the conversation.
