You know - DAVID COOK. He won American Idol last year? Not David Archuleta, the other David. He won? OK, have a good gander at the picture, there. Still nothing? Yeah, I'd barrel past him in an empty street too, yet he's reportedly suffering awful hardships with his pesky fans (the ones which purchase his records, go to his gigs, and fundamentally keep his chance career afloat). So much so he felt compelled to release this plea on MySpace:

"Hey everyone, First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been coming out to the shows since my last post. The vibe at these shows has been amazing. Secondly, I have to address some behavior that has become disturbing. We pride ourselves on being accessible to you as fans, but in contrast, we do enjoy what little privacy we can muster. To that end, the efforts by some fans to find our hotel rooms, call our hotel rooms, attach things to our bus, etc., is something I have to condemn. This relationship only works when it remains healthy for both parties, and should this behavior continue, the only thing we can do is take more preventative measures to maintain our privacy, which in turn makes us less accessible to you. I hope this doesn't come off as harsh (naaah, more arrogant and a wee bit wimpish). I merely want to nip this in the bud so we can continue to have a great experience with all of you at the shows we have coming up. Take care and see you at the next show."

Dear David. Rest your little fingers. There's no need to type out such requests. Your "issue" will come to natural conclusion around May, when your fans will no doubt transfer their fickle affections to the winner of American Idol 2009. Enjoy it while you can.