I'm astonished it took him this long to release an autobiography, what with Amy Winehouse having two currently in circulation, and I think Jordan's on her tenth. Anyway, it's got the snappy title of A Promise To Ourselves: Fatherhood, Divorce and Family Law. The only segment to be released naturally addresses the actor's now infamous "little pig" comment:

"She (Ireland) was off for spring break with her mother and her phone was turned off for 10 consecutive days... This had gone on for years now and... when the beep came, I snapped. (TMZ boss Harvey Levin) seemed to be that breed of tabloid creature that realized an almost sexual level of pleasure from ruining other people's lives. He has created TMZ as the updated receptacle of... trash. He leads a cadre of self-satisfied twentysomethings who jump like rats from public relations sinking ship to sinking ship… Driving up the Taconic Parkway, heading to an inn in the Berkshire Mountains, I began to think about what little town I would repair to in order to commit suicide. What semi-remote Massachusetts state park could I hike deep into and overdose there? When I returned to New York, the thought of jumping out the window of my apartment was with me every night for weeks."

Cool, I'd say you daughter would also love to have that on her conscience.