Nothing too crazy happened at last night's National Television Awards - bar David Tennant taking the opportunity to resign from Doctor Who when accepting an award for the show. The attractive thin-lipped one will not be returning as the Doctor after next year's series. The BBC must have fitted a revolving door on set.
Ant and Dec pegged it with a handmade accolade (courtesy of some aged Blue Peter presenters) for most popular presenter. It's the eighth year in a row they've landed that - poor Alan Carr and his Shetland Pony can't get a look in.
In other happenings: Paul O'Grady won best entertainment programme, Top Gear won best factual programme, EastEnders (doesn't Libby look mental with a bit of slap on?) snatched best serial drama from under Coronation Street, and - most controversially of all - Strictly Come Dancing beat the X Factor in the best talent show category. Simon's face was almost as priceless as his hair - which is beginning to resemble a Bord Na Mona firelog more with each passing day.
His face is even more priceless here. Sinitta no doubt drugged him and flung him into her waiting car. He's probably slurring "Terri whhhooo?" That or Simon was just overcome with emotion to be lovingly presented with "a special recognition prize" by Andrew Lloyd Webber - an accolade ITV bosses most likely pulled from their arses at the last minute for fear Cowell would never produce another series of X Factor for them again (hence the papier mache effort bestowed upon Ant and Dec... they couldn't give a hastily constructed piece of tat to Simon Cowell, now, could they).
As for red carpet moments; Amanda Holden showcased her left leg and her star with aplomb, while Fearne Cotton opted to exhibit the bushier look, and Sarah Cox looked generally uncomfortable. Jack Branning and his new missus id themselves proud, Patsy Palmer went wild with the liner to prove she does have eyes, Barbara Windsor looked chuffed to be smuggling in her two boys, the cast of Britannia High happily posed for photos they'll wince at in years to come, and, if you think Jennifer Metcalfe overdid the bronzer, check out Gus' date… OK, so that picture is from last year but we didn't have the gallery in operation back then so I saved it 'til now.