Nothing says 'festive' like an arse that smells like cinnamon, hangover and regret.
Even the staunchest of mulled wine fans will admit that there's a time and a place (and a limit) on the flavour, and the bathroom is definitely not one of them (unless the mulled wine is making a return appearance in your evening).
Which is why it beggars belief that Tesco would come out with a 'Mulled Spice Scented Toilet Roll' just in time for the festive period.
On sale in the UK for £2, Tesco describe the product as such: "Our mulled spice scented toilet tissue has a mulled spice fragrance core and a decorated paper for extra indulgence everyday."
That extra indulgence is feeling nauseous every time you enter your bathroom.
Understandably people are baffled.
Tesco has mulled wine Christmas scented toilet paper Why? Who thinks of these things? Just what I always wanted loo roll + a side of thrush
— Robin Son (@geekuneek) November 4, 2016
Me an my mom saw mulled wine scented toilet roll in tesco yesterday... WHY?????
— Grace Cunningham (@_GraceC) October 23, 2016
Tesco have started selling Christmas scented toilet roll. Yes, because who wouldn't want their bum to smell like mulled wine?
— Katie Page (@kitkatthemidget) October 25, 2016
When you ask for toilet rolls , and say only Andrex, who would come back with Tesco own brand, that's mulled wine scented? Jeez
— Foxy Jeepster (@foxyjeepster) November 5, 2016
You too, can have your bum smell of mulled wine.....
— Tim Shewan (@shewanlpool) October 29, 2016
PSA: Tesco now sell mulled spice scented toilet roll, if you want to smell like a disappointing office party. #lifehack
— Oliver Johnson (@BristOliver) October 25, 2016
do not recommend @Tesco mulled wine scented toilet paper, feels like wiping your ass with last nights hangover :(
— bel (@belwoolfe) November 5, 2016
@Tesco actually, apologies, it's soft, not quilted. But still...
— Ruth Hayes (Meech) (@ruthiemeech) October 20, 2016
And yet, somehow, there's a fan.
My Tesco shop just arrived & I bought mulled spice SCENTED toilet roll decorated with little gold trees & snowflakes ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚
— sophie (@__srjp) October 21, 2016
At least they now have something to match the bleach with.
Weirdest Xmas thing just seen in tesco........mulled spice toilet bleach !!!! ðŸ˜‚
— chris smith (@CJSBSB) October 28, 2016