Ah, I remember the first flush of parenthood. The camera was an extension of Mark's hand, resulting in a flurry of photos all of which look the same. Because, really, all newborns have one facial setting - and that's WInston Churchill. Although sometimes they mix it up by throwing in 'Winston Churchill does impression of submerged goldfish.'

Luckily Simon knows what the public want, so he's flanked little Eric with two cuddly toys. In case you're wondering who Squiddly and Diddly are - they're his dogs. Not the cuddly toys.