It's that time of year where we pour over the new RTE schedule, you know, just to see where the €160 per TV per Irish household goes towards, yaddah, yaddah.

Well, it would seem most of it is going towards Grainne Seoige's pay packet - they've only given her essentially five shows. 5 shows. F.i.v.e. shows. "Ah, sure there you are now, Grainne, so good of you to come back to the little island after "quitting Daybreak", here, have five shows." And those five presenting gigs are: Up For The Match, The People of The Year Awards, Crimecall, Put 'Em Under Pressure (a new sports show depicting how we've clearly moved on), and her very own documentary series Grainne Seoige's Modern Life. Oh, and she might have a sixth - that being the Irish version of The Voice. Those also in the running for the gig include Kathryn Thomas and Brain Ormonde... No surprises for guessing who I'm secretly gunning for.

Weeell, the job should really go to Kathryn anyway, what with Brian having his own two shows - Sing! (it's some "music quiz show for teens") and - wait for it - "fly-on-documentary seriesBrian and Pippa's Big Fat Wedding." Talking to The Mirror at yesterday's Autumn Line-up launch in Montrose, Pippa offered this endorsement for her show: "I've seen clips of it and I was crying already. I think the female audience will enjoy it because it's real (?!) Everyone can relate to it". Because everyone has RTE filming their wedding.

In other "I'd rather chew my own toenails off" viewing, Fade Street (yer wan off Fair City happily stood in for Vogue as she's still pretending to fancy Brian McFadden in Australia) is being recommissioned - for the web. There'll be some kind of round up show broadcast on RTE2 at some point.

Craig Doyle's also getting his own chat show - on a Tuesday. Speaking of it yesterday, he said: " We will be bringing guests in to talk about themselves (mainly whatever they're selling) but also what is happening in Ireland at the time. it will be a bit edgy as well. It's chat but a little bit sarky here and there." Finally, Craig is getting the go ahead to be properly sarky.

As for Tubs, well, he'll be back to present The Late Late Show - but that's not what the journos invited to RTE yesterday wanted to ask him about (our invite got mislaid somewhere, strangely enough). Nay, they wanted to question him about his 2FM show's dwindling JNLR figures. Apparently he's lost 60,000 listeners. Which is coincidence considering he relieved himself of 60,000 Twitter followers this week also. Rumours are the BBC made him quit after he tweeted "Awful scenes. The revolution is being televised" during the recent UK riots. Tubridy has a different story: "I wasn't concentrating enough. I need to put some heart and soul into the radio show and season three of The Late Late Show, and Twitter was a distraction. It was too much of a distraction and I was spending too much time on it and I needed that time. The only person who decided I was leaving Twitter was me."

Regarding said radio show, well, he's going to personally throttle the living hell out of it until people start listening again: "It's a fixable problem that I am going to fix... The point is, I have got a couple of weeks off and my intention is to take the show by the scruff of the neck and make it better. I'm going to fix it. For starters, we've got a great producer coming in (to join the team of about six) and for seconders we have been listening to what people are saying, I have been taking good advice from people and I'm going to fix it."

Anyone else now imagining Ryan dressed in a shiny trackie and dripping in gold "jingle jangle, jew'ry, jew'ry, jew'ry"? Just me again? Right so.