Not really, there's more details than that. It's really very exciting *smacks head off desk*

OK. Rihanna, living up to her classy Esquire title of Sexiest Woman Alive, took herself off to Stringfellows in London last night to pay humans to dance for her, and emerged at 1.30am clasping hands with a very shy tattooed soul in some unfortunate leg wear. Not attractive.

What was even less attractive, I'm sure, was how said individual kept treading on Rihanna's toes such was the mission to keep their face hidden. Why, I'm not sure, David Haye had no such qualms. And especially since her eye looks very pretty.

In fact, let's just throw it out there, it's Vanessa Hudgens, isn't it (WENN are convinced it's a bloke, but clearly they're wrong). It's obviously not Hudgens, I'm just trying to make the best of the scraps being proffered this morning.

I was going to do a poll entitled "What's Dana's Secret?!!", but it's just too hyped up at this stage. Anything we suggest is bound to outshine the reality - which would be no mean feat given the prepared statement she chose to read instead of deploying her final presidency pitch of the night has pretty much done that anyway. If that makes sense. But such is life.