Never did I envisage this sentence formulating in the brain... I think someone should give Tara Reid a break. Yep, there it is. It's been said. Don't get me wrong, she's still a talentless lush with disembodied breasts, but she's DOES have a job and she does it well; she exists to make people feel better about themselves and, damn, is she GOOD at it. Having not enjoyed regular work since, ooooh, I'll hazard a guess at 2003, she's willing to partake in pretty much anything, like ABC's Dancing With The Stars. Unfortunately for Tara, she was turned down as a participant as she's not "family friendly."

Enter Kim Kardashian, backwards. She too is talentless with a planetary posterior. She isn't a lush but she has starred in a sex video in which she's piddled upon by Whitney Huston's current toy boy. Funnily enough, she is deemed fun for all the family by ABC and will join her mother/pimp, Kris Jenner, on the new series.

The show's producers are taking a huge risk, here. True, the chances of a rogue boob making an appearance if Tara was on the show are highly likely, however, that's hardly going to be the direct cause of many fatalities. Mild nausea - definitely. Death - no. Kim Kardashian, on the other hand; if she's propelled by her partner too quickly, she's liable to spin at warp speed across the floor, taking out the odd audience member and the entire judging panel, before getting lodged, arse first, in a wall.

*UPDATE* It turns out, Tom Selleck has also signed up to join the Dancing With The Stars (of yesteryears) troupe and it's all SteveGuttenberg's fault. A source tells the National Enquirer, "Executives wanted an older hunk to bring in the baby boomer audience. Tom is incredibly popular with women 40 through 65 (um, and much, much younger), and producers were ecstatic when, at Steve’s urging, he expressed interest in competing on the show." I might've known. I can just see him mumbling "So, Tom, haven't worked in a while, no? Aaaaalllll the jobs have finally dried up, yeah? I feel you, dude. You just wait until the desperation really kicks in, you'll be so riddled the ladies will whiff it and then you can say sayonara to any action..." STOP trying to bring Magnum down to your level, Steve! We don't want to see him in a spangly, tight, spandex suit, dancing... *stares into distance wistfully*... I'm confused.